Poetry from Jesmond Arbour, world-class drunkard

Never let it be said that our Storyslingers writing prompts don't inspire moments of creative madness. This is a result of last Tuesday's meeting. The prompt was 'Scarecrow.'

The Scarecrow

by Jesmond Arbour

Bloody thing-

Stop looking at me!

I've only stopped for a second pee.

The third I shall save for Auntie Doris'

And maybe some more for the car park at Morrisons.

What's that man doing mummy? - a shrill voice cries

PISS OF YER LITTLE SHITE, OR I'LL SMITE YOUR EYES

Oh god, how simple life would be

As a Scarecrow - like this one in front of me.

So in I climb, into the clothes that were, once tied with string around the frame now bare.

The hat with straw sits atop my bonce while the allotment owner shouts:

What the jolly fuck do you think you're doing, sir?

You can also watch the author himself reading this poem:

Link to the video on YouTube in case the embedding breaks.

Mr Arbour (the author) wanted to add "Where did you get that?  I didn't write that.  You must be mad sir, this is the work of a deranged drunkard!"

Many thanks to Cobedy for providing the laughs! For more hilarious sketches, check out Cobedy's video channel here.