Miracle Marvel at Old Wardour Castle

One of our members, the fabulous Becky Bye, recently wrote a parody article about Old Wardour Castle where she's lucky enough to work, and since it gave me a chuckle I thought it worth asking if we could link to it from the Storyslingers blog. Becky was happy to share, so here is the aforementioned link: Miracle Marvel at Old Wardour Castle.

And an excerpt:

Visitors will be pleased to know that Old Wardour now boasts a wide range of miracle merchandise, including bottled miracle water from the castle well, and pilgrim patches, guaranteed to cure any ailments that you may have (not subject to liability), as well as a range of miracle medicines, with current BOGOF offers on selected items, such as genuine and authentic signed portraits of The Blessed Lady Blanche. (Items mentioned may alter from items actually sold.)

Additionally, there is now a wide range of miracle inspired snacks to refresh you after your long pilgrimage, such as ‘Holy Hotcakes,’ Miracle Mochas’ and ‘Oh My Lord Hot Chocolate.’ (Please do not enquire instore.)

Definitely worth checking out if you like a bit of tongue-in-cheek!

Poetry from Jesmond Arbour, world-class drunkard

Never let it be said that our Storyslingers writing prompts don't inspire moments of creative madness. This is a result of last Tuesday's meeting. The prompt was 'Scarecrow.'

The Scarecrow

by Jesmond Arbour

Bloody thing-

Stop looking at me!

I've only stopped for a second pee.

The third I shall save for Auntie Doris'

And maybe some more for the car park at Morrisons.

What's that man doing mummy? - a shrill voice cries

PISS OF YER LITTLE SHITE, OR I'LL SMITE YOUR EYES

Oh god, how simple life would be

As a Scarecrow - like this one in front of me.

So in I climb, into the clothes that were, once tied with string around the frame now bare.

The hat with straw sits atop my bonce while the allotment owner shouts:

What the jolly fuck do you think you're doing, sir?

You can also watch the author himself reading this poem:

Link to the video on YouTube in case the embedding breaks.

Mr Arbour (the author) wanted to add "Where did you get that?  I didn't write that.  You must be mad sir, this is the work of a deranged drunkard!"

Many thanks to Cobedy for providing the laughs! For more hilarious sketches, check out Cobedy's video channel here.